A love story

I was reminded today of how very much I love this place and the people who live here.
This montage of photos is offered as a gift: in deep gratitude for what we have. The photographs were taken at or within a few miles of my home here in Upper Lake.

March 11: Renee's Birthday Message

It took me a whole year to post this. Here is a very short video message from Renee at this time last year here:



Couldn't bring myself to post this until today.

Denise

Springtime

I do not remember last spring. Or summer or autumn for that matter. It has been a very long winter --seems like a very long one indeed.

But we live in a Universe of renewal, and spring does eventually come, doesn't it?

I wrote this poem after a weekend of beauty here. And I, overcome by it.


Springtime

VIolets and jonquils
celebrate sunlight,
together.
Mint and Marjoram,
your new leaves
sing aloud!
Quail
so quick and fleeting…
Did you remember her promise?
(She said you would come!)
a glimpse,
unexpected, brought
tears.

Song of Joy,
I thought you would not find me!
Gratitude,
You remembered
My fragile heart.
Springtime,
Thank you for being here,
Thank you, Thank you
For being.




Other poems are here: Poems of Grief

Healing

Thanks so much to all who have supported me in my grief process in whatever ways i have asked of you. There are some who expect me to be okay by now.... I'm really not, and I do not know when I will be. What I know is that healing will take more time than I could have imagined and I will never be the same as I was before. I need time and space to heal --sometimes it helps to withdraw from social events, sometimes work and activity is a balm. Grief catches me by surprise on most days.

Your kindness is a lifeline, each gesture a gift.

Thank you

Good Good Food

In the last 24 hours, I chose meals that were locally grown--all grown almost entirely from my own farm and garden.

Yesterday, I ate "farm-grown fast food" for dinner: 2 giant freestone peaches off my peach tree, a handful of cherry tomatoes off my tomato vines, a bunch of grapes off my grape vines and a sparkling glass of mint-ice water using the mint from my herb garden.

This morning for breakfast: A scramble--a sliced zuchinni from the garden sauteed in locally-produced olive oil with two farm fresh eggs (produced by my chickens), seasoned with chives and basil.

For lunch today I am having some more grapes, and a fresh tomato salad with walnuts and an herb vinagrette. And for dessert: some of Sky Hoyt's local strawberry sorbet.

In our country, food travels, on average, 1500 miles from producer to table, requiring huge amounts of fossil fuels both to grow it and deliver it. Most of THIS food traveled less than 100 feet. And I guarantee it tastes a lot better.

Everything is flavorful and colorful and nutritious. August is so bountiful here... it can't get much better than this. I can't think of a better way to heal my own spirit, and heal earth at the same time.

Natural building. continued...

We are still in the process of building a small demonstration cottage from cob (monolithic adobe) and strawbales. Here is a pictorial chronicle of the progress so far. Enjoy:

Buy Local Food

We already know how important it is to shop locally. And by buying local food, we support our farmers and economy right where we live! So why not pledge to buy a portion of your food locally?

If you are interested in taking a local food pledge , pledging to eat at least 1 pound a week from local sources, then visit this link:



As an added incentive: by signing up, you could win a prize! For example, the top prize of $6000 worth of landscaping would plant a great garden. (If you win that prize, and don't have room for a garden, let me know and I am sure we can help you find a fledgling community group that could use the help.)

If you live in lake County, to help you meet your 1 pound a week commitment, I have posted some ideas from Lakefuture members on the LakeFuture website

Remembering Renee

The loss of Renee is profound. My grief: deeper than words... As I attempt to share a glimpse of what is in my heart at any moment, I realize that the whole of it is too much to describe. How does one sum up such all-encompassing love? Ours was an unlikely and magical and sometimes infuriating love story. We companioned each other through fourteen years of raising children, joys, devastation, transformation, heartbreaks and triumphs. We ended more in love than we began.

Now I carry on alone. I am filled with awe and gratitude for this amazing gift of Renee (renewal) in my life, mindful that her love changed me, strengthened me and is more than enough to sustain me, even now. Her final gift, saying goodbye, has set in motion a new process of transformation.

Here is a slideshow of recent photographs:

Renee is at Peace

Renee died very peacefully this evening at 8:44pm Thanks to all for
your love and prayers as we send her on her way.

In love and gratitude,

Denise

======================================

Below is her obituary and here is a brief clip of Renee's own thoughts on death and dying...




OBITUARY

Renee Shields

Born: March 11. 1944 Died: May 12, 2007

Renee Shields, resident and teacher in Upper Lake, CA, died on May 12, 2007 from cancer. She was 63 years old.

Renee was born Lorraine Gail Shields, in Merced, California on March 11, 1944. She entered religious life as a Sister of the Holy Family in 1963, taking the name Sister Mary Renee, and remained in religious life for 30 years. She left the convent and entered into a committed partnership with Denise Rushing in 1993 and helped raise two children: Brian Rushing, now 24, and Teresa Rushing, now 22.

Renee taught Special Education at Upper Lake High School and was a licensed family counselor. She held two Masters Degrees: One in counseling from California State University-Fresno and one in religious education from University of San Francisco. She was a credentialed teacher, who worked in Public Schools since 1997 and taught religious education for 30 years, while a Sister of the Holy Family. She also co-founded Rockhaven Ecozoic Center, a non-profit eco-spiritual retreat center and holistic community in House Springs Missouri.

Renee is survived by her sister Cynthia Shields of Fresno, California, her brothers, James Arthur Shields III of Parker, Colorado and Harold Shields of Clovis, California as well as nieces and nephews in California, Colorado and Texas. She leaves behind immediate family including domestic partner of 14 years, Denise Rushing and her two adult children: Brian Rushing of Portland, Oregon and Teresa Rushing of Upper Lake, CA.

Renee took great joy in flower arranging, weaving, caring for the pets and livestock at the family’s farm and creative tasks, including baking cookies and cakes for the students and staff at Upper Lake High School. Throughout life, she was known for her kindness and humor, her generosity, and her love of children. She is remembered with deep love and gratitude by all she encountered.

Private Services will be held at a future date. The family asks that in lieu of flowers, memorial donations be sent to one of the following organizations:

Sisters of the Holy Family,
P. O. Box 3248,
Mission San Jose, CA 94539-0324

Hospice Services of Lake County,
1717 South Main Street
Lakeport, CA 95453

Rockhaven Ecozoic Center
7621 Rivermont Trail
House Springs, MO 63051

For Renee, I need....

Renee has been more than 5 days without water, just shallow breathing and no change in vital signs.... this is wearing on her body, on me and everyone near... she is so close to death, but not letting go.
So, I need your help...

-------------------------
THE DREAM.
Renee visited one of our Renee-care group in a dream last night. In
the dream, a room full of people were drumming for Renee. Renee came to her and said "tell them to stop the drumming, they need to let me go, I cannot go while they keep drumming" but the drumming continued. Renee asked her to make them stop, but the dreamer was powerless to stop it.
--------------------------

So, what is "the drumming?" Perhaps it represents everyone's worries and concerns about me and those she is leaving behind? Or perhaps it represents wishes and thoughts for her to regain health? (Or maybe someone is really drumming?)

Here is what I need you to do: Turn your thoughts from any worrying about me, or Brian, or Teresa, or her classroom kids, or family and relatives and friends. I need you to place your thoughts and intentions on saying goodbye to Renee--letting her go, and wishing her well on her way. She needs this.

Oh, and please stop drumming.

With love, and gratitude,

Denise

Hours...

It is surreal here at this hour. Renee's breathing is shallow and changing. Her heart rate is up even more, she is still hanging on, even though she hasn't been able to drink water for more than four days.
We are present to her, here and now. Powerless to stop death, we simply work on small comforts... repositioning her body, moistening her mouth, applying lip balm, massaging her feet with lotion..... and whispering goodbye.

Please know that your words and ongoing acts of love and support have been a great comfort, sustaining us even now.

In gratitude,

Denise

Just days...

Renee and I have been together for fourteen years. She is so ill now that she can no longer speak and she has only a few days left to live. I, for once, am without words...

...except to say that the time seems to have passed in an instant.



Here she is in the kitchen just a few short weeks ago.

New Life

Spring time brings new life to Dancing TreePeople Farm. We have seven new baby pygmy goats!!!

Here is a video of Daisy's babies:

The Daisies

Letting Go

During the campaign, Renee aquired a puppy. I bonded with this little dog --"Star." She could have just as easily been named "Joy" for the delight she brought to our home.

We now find Star SO energetic that we needed to give her a new home during this time. To me, letting go of this little dog carries with it a great sadness--I suppose that she represents how much letting go is happening right now. So I thought I would share a few photos...





May 2007 UPDATE:
Star came back to us. I got a call--she was found 40 miles from her new home, and she still had our license tags on her, so those that found her called ME. When I went to pick her up, she fell asleep in my arms--it was like she was trying to make her way home. I see this as a sign! The new owners say its okay--I plan to keep her after all.

Gratitude, Part 2

This past month gratitude entered with an even greater poignancy and depth for me. News arrived with a clarity and force that shook my reality: my partner and soulmate of 14 years has been diagnosed with advanced terminal cancer. Suddenly, our world has changed. Whatever our personal plans were, they have evaporated and life is now grounded in the day-to-day.

Gratitude.

I am even more mindful that each day, each hour, that passes is a gift. I am filled with gratitude for the time we have been given, for a special love, and for a life-giving friendship. I hold a deep admiration for Renee’s grace and courage, and for her astounding acceptance and trust, even as she faces the great abyss of her own death. That she has been part of my life can only be described as a grand miracle, one to which I still pause in amazement.

Many of us watch those we love face their own brave journey with this horrible disease and we all watch it play out, powerless in the face of its progress, taking our mothers and fathers, our brothers and sisters, our children and friends.

So let me tell my truth about all of this: I do not want to see my loved one die of cancer before her time. I just don’t. But this is the reality of it. And as we work so hard to stop death, or slow its march, all we accomplish is perhaps eking out a bit more life along the way to the inevitable. So I hope to celebrate what we’ve been given in the present moment and accept life on the terms it has been given, grateful for every bit. It's all good.

Gratitude

What makes this Thanksgiving special?

At the end of a long and difficult campaign, some might think that it would be my winning the race for local political office. And while I am thankful for this win, gratitude takes a different form today. First, I am mindful that many good people worked so hard to make it happen and that other good people who worked hard for the other side have been disappointed. My gratitude is for all the hope and effort and energy that went into this race... from both sides. For my part, I ran to serve my community, so I am thankful that the majority of my fellow citizens have seen fit to grant me that opportunity. No doubt I will need to work hard to earn it. For whatever reason, I feel called to do this right now, and to know that I am working on something noble, and much bigger than myself, and to be engaged in a process of transformation and courage and humility... well, that is something, isn't it? Humbing and hopeful.

Victory in this race was dampened by the fact that I lost a dear friend and colleague to cancer partway through. And now this week brings news that someone close to me is facing her own brave journey where the outcome has yet to be written. So today, I am mindful that each day, each hour, that passes is a gift. I am filled with gratitude for the time we have been given, and a special love, for friendship, and an admiration of the courage one must have to take on such a difficult illness.

We are an insane people. These illnesses that we biopsy and irradiate and remove (and often to which we succumb) are but a symptom of a greater problem--many are awakening to the insanity with a chilling realization that we have taken for granted the most basic of gifts: clean water, wholesome food, and a world that accepts and tranforms the waste we create. This path we are on leads to ruin: we will consume ourselves... soon enough, I suppose, unless we choose not to.

The heart of our problem may well be a lack of gratitude.

So today, let's give thanks for the miracle of our own lives, of the life around us and the precious gifts that allow us to be. For friendship and love and for all those who bear the painful burden of our excess, and for the simple gifts that mean so much and were given to so many of us for free: health and sunshine and love among them, and (of course) life--which is so very very fragile. Perhaps our love and gratitude will help us create a new way forward.

Work in progress

Here are a few of photos of the natural building project at the orchard. Look for a few more photos later after we complete the plaster finish.

Building a cob wall.
The building takes shape... with Hobbit-like nooks and peaceful spaces.

Natural Building Workshop

Our Dancing TreePeople Orchard and Garden hosted its first workshop this past week: Natural Building. Massey Burke was the instructor and did a terrific job teaching as well as keeping the group on task. I was pleased that most of those taking the course were from Lake County. Within the first day, we were working well together and formed a cohesive group for the duration of the class.

The materials are all from Lake County or nearby (we decided to get the rice straw from the central valley). With the exception of the roof and a few supports--we are avoiding the use of wood in the structure. The walls are either strawbale or cob. NO not CORN cob--but rather clay adobe build in place. Cob is from an old english word meaning loaf or lump. It is a mixture of clay, sand and straw--and is suprisingly strong, resiliant and maleable. In England, the cob homes exposed to the weather lose one inch a century. This small structure will have the added benefit of a natural plaster protection as well.

The clay cob is surprisingly easy to work with--and a lot of fun, too.

At this writing--our class structure is half complete. In August (8-12) , we will have another class: Natural Plasters where we will finishh many of the walls.

I will post a few photos soon thereafter

Baby chicks

One of our Silkie hens has been brooding for the past few weeks. A couple of days ago, the chicks started to hatch. Here are a couple of videos:

First watch:

This morning (3.5 MB)

Then:

This afternoon (7+ MB)

Enjoy!!

Untended, Unintended

Untended. The walnut orchard is overgrown as we cultivate other actions this spring. My campaign for supervisor takes precedence this season, and many neighbors and friends are wholeheartedly working to make it happen. Still, it is difficult to see the oat cover crop go to seed on unplanted beds. (My no-till grain planting experiment WORKED!)

Unintended. I moved some hay bales away from the chicken coops today. When I lifted one of the bales, out scurried a half-dozen baby mice. Next to the nest of mice was another nest... I expected mice in the hay. What I did not expect was a baby rattlesnake. There it was--were there others?. Before i could get a tool to poke around and see, it was gone. Where's mama?

I concentrate on caring for the animals as a first priority, and after that, we will have to wait until after the election for the next innovation at Dancing TreePeople orchard. Brian is here for a week or two to help with the garden. we may or may not get the orchard mowed. We may or may not get the next experimental cover crop planted. We will not replace the sheep, for now. We will be lucky to plant vegetables, but won't get the food forest trees planted. While all this is left undone, much is afoot. We are planting different seeds this spring.

My effort lately has been to meet voters face-to-face. I am lucky now to be able to leave much of the daily organizing, phone calling, voter registration and fund-raising to others. We've created a campaign that gains more energy by the week. It's fun and it is already making a difference.

To have so many talented and interested campaign volunteers is both humbling and energizing. This campaign is designed to harness that willing energy. What I did not expect was how reinforcing the energy is to me as a candidate. The harder i work, the more volunteers and donations I receive. The more people donate of their time, talent and treasure, the more energy I have to give. Amazing.

Tragedy

The events of this past day have been too horrible to contemplate.

Two nights ago, we lost ALL of our sheep to a pack of wild dogs or coyotes (we think) based upon the nature of the wounds. Animal control told us they thought it might have been a mountain lion--but at 6:30 am we found a pack of wild dogs still in the sheep yard, so we think the dogs did it. The carnage was horrible.

The thing is, the pen is right next to our house and we heard NOTHING. In the early morning we found two dead (Twinkle and Buttercup) and Dancer is nowhere to be found. The sheep had broken open the fence gate trying to escape--so Dancer probably ran away--but she has not returned and we have searched and searched for her. I do not have much hope that we will find her alive.

I do not know how the predators got into the sheep area but they did. I think they knocked down a segment of fencing (there was evidence of a struggle) or leaped the fence. The sheep would never let us close them in the barn at night--though they slept there when it rained. They would never let me shut the door (they always bolted out). The net is this: these sheep died a terrifying death.

We have only had these magnificant animals since early December. We were looking forward to their lambs in the spring. Renee and I spent yesterday burying Buttercup and Twinkle in the spot they used to enjoy sitting.

I am not sure what the lesson of this is... I wish I could write something profound about life and death and the give and take of living in the country..... but this is just horror.

Natural Building Class

I am still planning a natural building class here at Dancing Treepeople. It will be in mid-july. I will post the exact dates once I have them. We will be implementing a combination of natural methods, strawbale, cob and others. If you, or anyone you know, is interested in learning these techniques and would like to join us, let me know.

Plus, I was excited to discover that Michael Pena from the Robinson Rancheria Band of Pomo Indians is interested in natural building classes too! We may join forces and get something going here together. The tribe is planning a number of structures and they may even go into the business of producing local adobe bricks!

Hat hovering over the ring....

I can't help but feel that we are on the threshold here in Lake County. A precipice, really. We face huge forces that will change the place forever if not carefully managed by people of integrity who are paying attention and understand what is at stake. Most people I know feel that the beauty and way of life here will be overrun by outside economic interests. (we do not even have sufficient developer fees in this county) A number of folks believe that we need a change of county supervisors in a couple of districts, including mine. Many agree that the fate of the county hangs in the balance.

So, here is what happened: I kept waiting for someone to emerge that I could support. I was ready to launch their campaign even. I waited.... and waited... and waited. I faced a cold realization: no one else is running for whom I would want to vote, let alone campaign. What is that old saying? You are the leader you have been waiting for. Some people were asking me to consider running for county supervisor.

Yikes. If I choose to run, I face a long-time incumbant who is accessible to people, known by everyone, and shows up. I would face criticism that I have lived here for less than two years. An easy choice would be to just keep waiting, at least until the next term, when folks could get to know me better. The problem is this: in four years, it will be too late. Who will work as hard as i will to protect this place? Four more years will see so much destruction.... and so much is at stake.

So here we are: The Choice. To move into public service is a significant step. As successful as I have been, I have never aspired to a public, political life. As I thought about it, I realized that (at minimum) I have the management and analytic skills and abilities to do a very good job for the people of Lake County. I will pay attention, and am astute enough to understand the forces at play... Lake County needs people like me who will serve with integrity and a higher ideal but can excel at the day-to-day management reality.

Bottomline: I decided that I WILL take this step, IF the people will have me... The real challenge will be to get to know folks, to let them get to know me, and to really understand their hopes and desires for our lives here.

It seems to me that true leaders can and must create a positive vision of community life: one where everyone can share in the abundance an area has to offer (not just a select few with the means to exploit it) and all can have a hand in restoring and preserving places of beauty for future generations.

Up until now, I've been dedicated to promoting a vision of an ecologically sustainable future for people in relationship to the natural world. This is self-reliance. I chose to be here in Lake County, precisely because this place has not yet been utterly spoiled. Here, it is still possible to recreate a local economy and a vision in keeping with a rich local history. Here we can still have a relationship with the natural world and potential for a life-giving, connected, self-reliant community.

I wonder: Is it even possible to articulate such a vision in modern politics? Perhaps people already feel it in their soul and just need leaders to really serve: to listen well and work hard to preserve that which we most value.

As a first task, I and a handful of (amazing) supporters initiated a local signature drive--signatures in lieu of filing fees--to gauge voter support. I will be going door-to-door to talk with people.

I've discovered that campaigns are quite expensive. Family, friends and constiuents--all are welcome to donate to this (my first) election campaign: Denise Rushing for Supervisor and I hope that you will support me in this in any way you can. My website is up: DeniseForSupervisor.org.

Two quotes

A review. First, I offer one of my favorite quotes from poet William Stafford:

For it is important that awake people be awake,
or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep;
the signals we give - yes or no, or maybe
Should be clear: the darkness around us is deep...

I offer this second quote in the service of an awake people. It is from the U.S Bill of Rights, Amendments to the U.S. Constitution. Italics are mine:

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Remember? We mustn't forget that the reasons these rights are in our constitution is to guard against tyranny, and it is so easy for leaders to argue that safety is more important than liberty. Today, democracy requires our vigilence. The signals we give should be clear. Or are "We, the people" asleep?

Sunset...

...on Mars!


Okay, I must admit that I am a little bit unsettled by this picture:



It was taken by the Mars Rover on May 19, 2005. If you contemplate it long enough, you get a sense of where we are in relationship to it. (Hint: closer to the Sun) I can imagine myself with the Rover at the time this picture is taken--it could just as easily be somewhere in the Southwest desert here on Earth except... doesn't our sun look tiny? Aren't we fortunate to be on this spinning orb instead of Mars? What luck.

Wow.

The Mystery Train

Recently, I encountered this editorial by Willam Rivers Pitt:

The Mystery Train

What do YOU think of this? Of mercenaries? Of white phosporous? Of torture, and secret prisons?

Here is what I think: we most certainly have gone mad.

What must be done? All I know is that we cannot live our lives as if this is not happening. I often think what can I do about this? I am only one person. When I think this way, I allow depair to gain a foothold. So instead I choose a different way of thinking. No.... I choose a different way of being.

Today, this is what i choose to do: spread straw and turn compost. Move a stack of wood and feed the chickens and goats. Clean out the barn in preparation for the sheep that are arriving on Sunday. And (of course) "Blog for Sanity....." and write my congressman.

Perhaps each gentle act will counter-balance the cries of terror or burn of chemicals half a globe away. I choose not to deny that this is happening, I grieve for what is happening and am so sorry for my part in it.

Headlines and Walnuts

The headline today reads: Fish Numbers Plummet in Warming Pacific

If you follow the above link to the article, you will find an article detailing the catastrophic collapse in sea and bird life taking place in our own Pacific Ocean due to the warming of the waters. Go ahead, read it.

Or perhaps you could read this one: Ripples of Global Warming Spread Outward which details the increase in insects and diseases (like malaria) taking place around the world. They do not mention the annoying fruit flies feeding on Walnut husks here in Upper Lake, California... insects which are usually are gone by this time of year. Where is our first frost? I'm rooting for winter weather to arrive. It is late.

How about: Melting Mountains: How Climate Change is Destroying the World's Most Spectacular Landscapes

Or: Greenhouse Gases 'To Rise By 52%' an article which I think is WRONG because I believe we will run out of oil first (but not before we've passed the magic number of 400ppm carbon dioxide which guarantees global climate collapse will happen. We are at 384 ppm this year, by the way.)

It's official: the Walnut crop at this Upper lake orchard was 10% of last year due in part to the late rains. It rained heavily at the end of June in Northern California this past year. Do you remember that happening in earlier years? I don't.

60,000 species of life will become extinct this year, mainly due to climate change. And another 60,000 or more next year. And the year after that. Plants and animals. Gone forever, unless we save the seeds, I suppose.

In the meantime, companies are developing a "terminator gene" and releasing it into nature in the form of crop seeds. The gene prevents farmers from saving seeds; they will have to buy new seeds each year from seed and chemical conglomerates who claim that this will solve the worlds hunger problems. I'll bet it won't.

What do you think?

Not only have we lost track of caring for the seventh generation, we have stopped caring for our own. What will it take for us to begin to care, and more importantly, to ACT.

As for me, I wonder what the children of this generation will eat. So today, in a profound act of hope, I will wander into the orchard and spread straw to enrich the soil for next season.

Perhaps I will plant a fig tree.

Dancing TreePeople ORGANIC Orchard and Garden

Hooray! This week, we received the organic certification for our farm. This involved a lot of paperwork and an on-site inspection. Here is a copy of the USDA certificate:



We are harvesting walnuts by hand this season (just Renee and I). The good news: we are selling this year's walnut harvest as organic!

Lake Future

This past weekend, I spoke at the local sustainability forum sponsored by the Sierra Club Lake group. There was a fairly large group there for our rural area (over 100, I think) and the discussion seemed to focus on the changes folks see and what can be done about living within our means: becoming more sustainable as individuals and as a community. I invited folks to continue the dialog by joining LakeFuture--a forum to explore and discuss both individual and community transformation to a more sustainable and local economy in Lake County, CA. You can join the yahoo group by sending an email to lakefuture-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

For my part, I try to focus on the hopeful--that humans are a part of the community of life and we have a role. We are called, I believe, to not just live sustainably, but to restore and renew ravaged places and to protect the living places that remain. When we work in this way, we find that our way of thinking changes and indeed, our way of being is transformed.

To embrace this transition, as I have been chronicling here for myself, is not easy, but it is a far more satisfying way of life. And yet, I've learned that I cannot work alone... the vision of such a life is a difficult one with just too much sheer work and a myriad of skills that no one person can acquire or afford. It is only through community that we create the momentum, energy and hope to find our way to the future.

Renewing the Face of the Earth

I have been camping in the Cazadero Hills the past couple of weeks, participating in a course in regenerative ecological design (permaculture) with an amazing group of people. I can honestly say that this process of ecological design is one of the most hopeful things I have encountered. This is beyond sustainability, this is about our human capacity and responsibility to renew depleted and ravaged places. Its about bringing fertility to depleted soils and creating better human communities in the process.

I will be integrating what I have learned over the next weeks and months and years and will share my insights as appropriate. For now, I am re-entering life at Dancing Tree People orchard and garden and need to begin building winter housing for the animals... with natural materials, of course.

With so much destruction afoot in our world, it feels quite empowering to obtain new skills in self-sufficiency and community-building.

If you would like to learn more about this course, go to the E.A.T. website.

I wish...

I haven't written about the Katrina disaster until now because I am literally heartsick.... even today, there are people stuck in their own attics in unbearable heat, hoping to be rescued. Thousands are trapped in desperate circumstances. Each hour that passes, more die. Disease for the living is surely next. Blessed are the least of these.

Heaven help the survivors of the Katrina disaster. And heaven hold each compassionate heart that chooses to be transformed by the images of this unfolding disaster as we all wonder "is this America?" Yes, it is America, where we must not blame the poor, mostly black, survivors who have been herded into concentration camps and left for days in squalor and filth. They did not choose to stay: they did not have the means to leave. The Red Cross was not allowed into the city to help. Dear God.


Another good read is this blog entry. I couldn't have put it better myself.

I wish that this disaster had never befallen these people whose only crime was being poor and living in our beloved city of New Orleans. I wish we the people could wake up to the disaster that has taken hold of what once was our civil society--that we are no longer being governed, we are being looted by those who cultivate the basest of our nature. Or are we too busy buying big screen televisions that we haven't noticed what we have become?

And If I hear a news pundit say "those who chose not to evacuate" one more time, I will lose my lunch.

Please consider donating to Veteren's for Peace a group that is on-the-ground in Louisiana helping these people.

My final prayer this day: may we collectively and culturally experience the transformation of soul that this event evokes in us. We will need great strength, courage and fortitude for the journey ahead if we are to reclaim our noble humanity.

Walnut Woes

I finally got myself up into an airplane this week and am flying again. Lake County is stunning from the air, though I can see problems from a very different vantage point. For example, the algae is blooming in the Lake and from the air, the green streaks are sobering. Likely, the algae will do this until the lake water cools.

I also flew over Dancing TreePeople orchard where I got a good look at "The Big Picture". In a word: it is DRY.

The TreePeople are NOT dancing--they are trying to survive the heat and last year's pruning. From the air, I can see that these trees are clearly stressed. The former owner told me that they hadn't been watered for the past few years because it is not "cost effective." They seem to really need it and I feel bad that I didn't catch on sooner. In any case, I couldn't water if I wanted to--the irrigation system isn't fuctioning and needs replacement.

When I returned to the orchard after my flight, I took a long walk. The weeds from the summer rains are now completely dry. The ground literally crunched under my feet. I noticed that the trees hold very few Walnuts this season, and the squirrels are claiming a large portion of the meager crop. My neighbor, Raphael (the local expert), told me that this is a very bad year for walnuts because the late June rains prevented pollination. I'm certain that my crop is even worse that most.

I have decided that I need to focus the next weeks and months here on capturing and storing water, without which this land will be a desert soon.

Looks like I will not have to spend much energy on harvesting walnuts this season and can concentrate on irrigating these trees. Assuming they make it, perhaps next year will be better.

Go Slow on GMOs

The Lake County Record Bee published my letter to the Editor on Genertically Modified Organisms. For those who missed it, here it is:

Recently, some have suggested that GMOs are safe because humans have been involved in genetic manipulation for centuries. This argument is misleading and dangerous. GMOs are NOT the same as genetic hybrids.

Those who produce hybrids through pollination or breeding accelerate nature’s own processes. Nature has the opportunity to reject problems before they affect the whole system.

The mechanics of genetic engineering are crude and messy. Viruses are used to inoculate DNA from one organism into another organism in forced combinations, many unintended. The viruses, once released cannot be fully controlled. Only time will tell.

Genetic Engineering replaces nature’s wisdom with human experimentation and techniques and then releases the result into natural systems. The effects can be catastrophic and we are already seeing negative consequences of the early GMO “products”. Most importantly, mistakes cannot be recalled once they are introduced.

As one with a technical background, I am in awe of new scientific discoveries… and disturbed by how GMO technology is introduced by companies. Our community is in this together—we must consider the realities of Living Systems Science, which studies the whole picture over time rather than just the pieces today.

Through science, we know that organisms will evolve and adapt and reproduce and that one change affects the whole community of life. We also know that the genetic code is key—the blueprint for all of it. This code has behind it the wisdom of billions of years of interaction.

The risks of introducing GMOs into natural systems are huge. The Europeans and Japanese have decided to wait saying: “We will watch what effect these GMOs have on American children.”

I would rather risk a future of laughing at our caution than crying for our children. Wouldn’t you?

Whirlwind

I mentioned awhile back that I was going to take a bit of a rest from writing or thinking about politics. I tried to (really!)

Regardless of what I said, I am now involved in a couple of local issues that matter to me. To be honest, some days I would rather be feeding the livestock and spreading straw, but these issues are too important to ignore.

The issues are: (1) Local Sustainability and (2) Genetically-modified Organisms (GMOs)

On sustainability, I am helping the Sierra Club organize a local forum. A panel of folks will discuss community sustainability. More on that in the future.

On GMOs, the issue was in front of the Board of Supervisors today. I spoke in favor of a moratorium on planting and cultivating Genertically-modified organisms in Lake County. There wasn't much time and I didn't get to say my full piece... the next meeting is on 9/27 in the afternoon. For more informatoin visit lakelive.org/alfalfa

Cultivating the Real Gifts

When I embarked on this journey toward self-reliance, I fully engaged the most scientific and rational part of myself. Slap a few solar panels on the roof, recycle waste, use a solar oven and grow a few organic crops and I would be well on the path, right?

What I have learned is much deeper. It is difficult to put into words, but I will attempt to do so.

It is this:

If one wants to live in harmony with the planet, to accept ones position as a part of the natural system rather than a consumer (taker) of Earth's gifts, then an internal shift is required.

This is a change in a way of BEING. Much of what we have been taught about ourselves--how to be happy, how to survive, how to relate--must change. Despite what we have been taught by popular culture since infancy, we do not need more things to make us happy (in fact paradoxically, the more we have, the more elusive happiness becomes). And despite the fact that heros are rewarded and individualism is worshiped in our culture, the most important gifts in the next few decades may well be relationships with neighbors and the cultivation of local community.

Why do I say this? Because one cannot possibly have all the skills, or resources, or tools, or creativity or time to be fully sustainable on their own. Even if you could afford it, you would not have the time or strength working alone. And, more importantly, the vision of such a life is unappealing. One needs a life-giving and sustaining vision, a spiritual sustenance, in order to let go of the false promises ingrained so deeply within us.

As it turns out, our ability to forge relationships and our own creativity are probably our most important individual gifts.

As I harvest the first of our organic vegetables and contemplate the season ahead, I drink in the beauty of the landscape around me here in Lake County...., I am grateful for all I have been given. From the land and trees, to the community of life, and the community of people here. We have all that we need for the times ahead. May we accept that which is entrusted to us and make it better for our community in the generations to come.

Meet Sugar, Clara and Daisy

Did you know that Pygmy Goats eat star thistle and bind weed? Woohoo. So we adopted three pygmy goats: Sugar, Clara and Daisy.



We discovered that these goats are clever about opening gates that aren't fully latched and they will also eat the leaves off of young fruit trees if you aren't careful..

Meet Sugar. She is the "mom" protecting her daughters and talking with them. She gets first dibs on any good food. She likes rolled oats.



Meet Clara, Sugar's eldest daughter. She is one year old (more like ten years old in goat years) and is learning that butting her younger sister with her head is fun. I remember feeling the same way when I was ten.



And this is Daisy, Sugar's youngest daughter. She is four months old and still nurses from time to time, ungracefully shoving her mother's udder to release the milk. She also climbs and perches on the "igloo" dog (now small goat) house. She takes naps inside it too.



These livestock are a new source of weed control, manure for the organic garden and joy for us.

Star Thistle, continued

I wrote about this plant last time and thought I would also post a photo.

Here is a close-up:

There is a strange beauty to it, don't you think?
Though, one must be careful to avoid the thorns...

I keep looking for positive attributes even as I spend hours attempting to eradicate it from my future garden area.

This week, I learned from Jen at Cloud Forest Institute that the honey from star thistle pollen is light-colored and quite good. Also, I noticed that the stalk is strong and has an interesting shape.

Perhaps this week, I will attempt to weave it into a basket.

Star Thistle

My world has changed dramatically in the past few weeks. For one thing, I am no longer in corporate life--instead I can now officially claim to be a full-time farmer. At last, I am without a cause to champion, a dragon to slay, a mountain to climb.

Life is simple and satisfying, interrupted by my own manufactured crusades from which I must learn rhythm and being. My latest teacher: Star Thistle.

This noxious weed competes to win on ground that has been abused: dry, compacted, scraped clean. Here in Lake county, it is often found next to the highway and can be identified by its characteristic prickly star head as it reaches maturity. These points are so sharp that they pierce leather gloves and most clothing (ouch!) While it has not claimed our entire orchard, thank goodness, it has claimed much of the backyard and anywhere else that has seen a bulldozer blade in the past few years.

I decided to battle this weed and immediately began to fret and worry about how it could be done. My neighbor mows and sprays and rototills. His approach not only seems time consuming and expensive, but goes against my desire to work with nature rather than constantly fighting natural systems. Besides, his methods require constant vigilence and his yard has more star thistle than mine --so his approach does not seem to work well in the end.

At first, fueled with zeal and a competitive spirit, I went after the star thistle in a weed-pulling frenzy. At the end of the first few days, I was sore and exhausted and the star thistle still seemed to be everywhere--popping into full bloom and most certainly re-seeding itself. I quickly realized that I needed to find a different way to interact with this plant, my energy toward it seemed counter-productive. So I decided to observe the start thistle for awhile, and think about ways that I could enjoy it.

How could I possibly enjoy this plant? It grew faster than all the others, and with no water or care, could quickly dominate a place. I realized that it had a job to do and that if i were to remove it, I would have to find a more successful way to do its job: repairing the dry, hard ground and creating soil structure where there is none. I noticed where it grew, how easy or difficult it was to pull out depending upon the cirmcumstances it found itself in, how it sprouted if I didn't get the tap-root out, how it resprouted if left on the ground after it was pulled and how all the thistles opened even as it was dying. If I could not enjoy it, I could certainly admire its tenacity!

With a little more observation, I noticed that star thistle did not grow where we had mulched with straw. I also noticed that the whole plant came out easily if the ground was watered the night before but pulled before the plant had a chance to soften to the new water.

I began to enjoy the time spent observing and continued to observe even while I was pulling the star thistle. I found that I enjoyed the satisfaction of working small sections of the garden, where whole plants came out easily after watering, and found that I was no longer worried about the whole yard. I decided that we will have many seasons together, the star thistle and I, and that eventually, with my help, the soil will be moist and healthy and will not need this weed.

My final observtion is this: in some ways, I have been like star thistle: tenacious, hearty, energetic and strong. Heroic even. Now I must cultivate a deeper nature in myself: gentle, patient, enjoying the smaller simpler task of working the soil. With enough gentle care and cultivation, who knows what new life will emerge in this garden?

Brainwashed? Who Me?

Surprise! Even with all the alternative media I read, there are a couple of items on this list that I didn't know. Highly recommended link:

You may be brainwashed by corporate-controlled media if you...

Blame Amercia?

I visited Sydney , Australia last week and while I was there, I had an opportunity to attend an event at Town Hall featuring an interview with David Suzuki, the environmentalist.

Before the event began, on my way into the hall, I was verbally attacked by an anti-war protestor for no other reason than I am an American. He was quite upset by U.S. policies and decided to let me know it. Despite the fact that I happened to agree wholeheartedly with his positions, I am surprised at the rage he unloaded on me. Upon first reflection, I was also surprised to realize that his rage is so much greater than my own--after all it is our government that does these things in our name.

The event was terrific and included an open Questions & Answer session.

The folks I was with were all Australian and were glancing to see my reaction each time the commentator or Suzuki himself referred to the United States negatively and the crowd applauded. Things got only worse for the U.S. during the Q&A as each question highlighted yet another misguided U.S. position.

Americans are hated here--what a change since the days following 9/11.

Then I thought about it a bit, and grew angry too. What a cop out. How dare they! There I sat 100 yards from a huge shopping cornocopia in downdown Sydney, surrounded by goods from all over the world at rock-bottom prices, on a continent that has been ravaged by european immigrants who plundered the native people and who just re-elected a war-supporting, environment and labor degrading government, I realized something. America is easy to hate because we now visably represent the dark side of all of this consumerism and disconnection from the natural world. The world now considers us a misguided, mislead and clueless citizenry. The era of "I like Americans but dislike their government" is over. There are now, apparently, many who dislike Americans, period.

Why is Bush doing what he is doing? Because he can. Was he even elected by a majority of Americans? who knows? The media is controlled, the vote counting machines are hidden, the citizenry is docile, and the world (including Australia mind you) is not finding a way to hold anyone here accountable.

Blame America. But until most people stop buying all this crap, someone will be going to war for oil. Politicians in the U.S. haven't been telling people the truth--why? Because they won't get elected. Everyone wants their cars and DVDs and toaster ovens and computers and its all made in China or India, egads, soon they will be wanting it too. And we all feel so powerless to stop this machine that is feeding on the ecosystems of the planet. If Australia or England or any other country thinks they are immune from this disease, then they are kidding themselves. We are all infected.

What can any one person do? Protest, sure. But perhaps the more important and radical thing is to valliantly try to change one's view of the world. Buying one more thing will NOT make us happier, in fact it's likely that the reverse is true. Local community, local economies are vital. Local soul and connection to place are the antidotes to this madness.

So, Australia, remove the log from your own eye, would you please? We all have work to do.

Strawbuilding.net

Would you like to see photos from my straw bale construction class? Here is my collection: http://www.strawbuilding.net

The instructors were terrific. I am thinking of sponsoring a Natural Building class here in Lake county. If you are interested, please send me an email by clicking the link on the above website.

The REAL scandal

British Parliment member George Galloway testifies in front of congress... WOW.

Please WATCH THIS VIDEO, don't just read the transcripts or press reports.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2005/05/17/VI2005051700710.html

stunning

pass it along to everyone you know

Denise

Betrayal

I wonder if THIS will be on Fox news:

http://www.downingstreetmemo.com

Check out the site--and read why it matters. More on that here:

http://www.commondreams.org/views05/0513-20.htm

Read it and weep.