It’s 5AM, I’ve gotten about an hour of broken sleep over the past 5 hours of tossing and turning, and I’m bored as hell. Is it too much to ask to just frakking fall asleep already? (( Sorry for the swearing, Daddy. )) The only time I get any sleep anymore is when I medicate, and I can’t bring myself to do that every night.
I wish I could turn my brain off at night, or at least put the swirl of endless thoughts on pause for a few hours. Mostly I think about things that stress me out because I’m laying there in bed in the dark unable to get comfortable and sort of angry, but it happens when I’m not thinking about negative things too. I don’t deal with my anger the way I should, and pretty much everything makes me angry or stressed out. But is that what’s causing me to never sleep anymore? I can’t know.*
I feel kind of lost without Terra Nova. Tuesdays come around and without really thinking about it I click on Hulu to see if there’s a new episode up, only to remember that season one is over and there may not even be a season two. It makes me sad to know that the best thing to come out of 2011 might get FOX’d**.
Oh, and I bruised my finger tip last night. Right now it’s throbbing, but at least the shooting pains are gone (unless I accidentally use my finger). It’s wicked hard to type without my middle finger. All of my ‘I’s’ are accidentally ‘O’s’ and my ‘N’s’ are ‘M’s’. It’s driving me nuts to keep backspacing and I’m angry because I BRUISED MY FINGER. Who does that???
¤
* When my brother was little he used to say “I can’t know” instead of “I don’t know”. It was so freaking adorable. Also wicked cute was when he was five and I would listen to The Beatles album A Hard Day’s Night and he would sing and dance for me, wanting to impress me by how he knew all the words even though mostly he was just making sounds that sounded like the words. I was still impressed.
** FOX’d – verb; to get cancelled prematurely. I just made that up. IT’S GOING TO BE A THING.
{ 7 comments }
Ewww, sounds like a terrible night! I’m sorry. Not sleeping sucks the worst. I used to not be able to sleep without meds, then came bay and she exhausts me (in a good way) no meds needed! Plus that 9mth detox, haha.
I totally understood fox’d. It could totally be a thing! :)
I’m glad you sleep now!
FIRST: I love the Beatles.
Second: Fox’d is totally a thing. It has been since Firefly. If you watch Firefly I will make you breakfast for a month. Why does Fox keep running awesome shows if they’re going to cancel them later? Why do people with awesome shows keep trying to have them put on the air by Fox? It’s this big conspiracy. I think they’ve kidnapped JJ Abrams.
Third: Have you tried melatonin for sleep? It’s a natural hormone supplement that I started taking now and then last semester when I needed to fall asleep on time for a change.
We totally watched Firefly and loved it. Jane was my favorite!
Also, does ‘make you breakfast for a month’ count for second breakfast too?
Obviously.
Also Jayne has a Y in it. I’m just sayin’.
A) BFFs.
2) Oh honey, I adore Firefly. You don’t have to make me breakfast for a month, but I understand your enthusiasm 100%. I’ve been pining for Firefly for years. Airing your show on FOX is totally a gamble so I usually don’t even watch shows on FOX, but I couldn’t pass up a show about people living with dinosaurs.
3) No, I haven’t tried anything except for what the doctor gives me. I’m really weird about taking medications and stuff, but I’ll talk to a doctor about it next time I go.
I HATE medication in general and will only take stuff that I absolutely feel I need, but I tried this when I had jet lag and it was a huge help. Every so often I’ll take one when I’m feeling stressed and can’t relax my mind enough and all I want to do is sleep.
Comments on this entry are closed.